Mother's day in lock down!

If there’s anyone on the domestic front who is by far the worst affected by the lock down, it is the mom – be it stay-at-home or part-time/full-time professional – all are in fact working moms! With “stay home stay safe” being the ubiquitous mantra these days….home has turned into a workplace, day-care, summer camp, online-classroom, binge-watching-entertainment centre,  throwback-mythological-drama-driven-holy space, a 24/7 eatery all rolled into one – and who’s still responsible for keeping it together? “Amma..amma” is the constant chatter I hear from my soon to-be-five year old as I try to write this in between finishing up some pending drafts of petitions to be filed as soon as regular courts reopen at the end of the lock down (whenever that is!) As we try to grapple with household chores, cooking, tending to young kids, (with a little help from our spouses of course) while working full time/part time at our third party jobs (at jobs when working from home is possible), blurring the lines that separate work from home thus robbing us of our distinct identities, all of which now seem to merge into one – of that of a lock down mommy!  Personally, motherhood is certainly a joy to take on, but it is also true that motherhood isn’t all of me and I am pretty sure that I don’t want it to be! But I am also a little hesitant to admit it, as our culture elevates mothers to a Goddess-like stature, being the ultimate destination for an Indian woman.  Frankly, I don’t want to be a goddess!  I am only human and I want my own share of ‘bad’ and ‘good’ days as a mommy without having to feel especially guilty about the “bad’ days! On this mother’s day, apart from all the admiration and appreciation for the maternal bond, I wish we could be more tolerant and non-judgemental about the mommy-meltdowns too!

Apart from being moms, most of us women have our own little happy places untouched by our mommy-selves that we cherish – be it work or a certain me-time at home, or a class we enrol into, or a hobby or an activity we take up, or catching up with our own buddies or a yester-year serial /video/book/ dress we watch, read or wear just to feel if “that little girl’ is still in us…don’t we? Now suddenly, we find that the lockdown owing to the COVID-19 pandemic has suspended (albeit temporarily) everything and our own happy place seems to have been invaded by our all-pervading identity of being a “mom”!  I’m not sure if its only me or  is there anyone else who feels the same, if you do, please give a shout-out so that I know I’m not the only weird one! 😊

As I spend the first few hours of mother’s day with my mom at her farm Shristi at Dharmasthala where we travelled to on a two-way inter-district pass in order to pick up our son, Abhay who in his own words has had “the best summer ever” away from home, I now dread having to manage two kids for the rest of the lockdown! For mother’s day in advance, we picked an old favourite (from one of my own happy places Kutoohala) “I love my baby Because…..” a picture book by Paulina Simons and illustrated by Cassia Thomas,  which almost serves as a reminder for us moms as to why we are who we are! This delightfully endearing book beautifully describes the everyday adventures in mommy-hood, the light hearted humour depicted in the illustrations that are quite the opposite of the narration and a realistic portrayal of how things actually pan out when you involve young kids!  It is probably the mommy’s wishful thinking as she says “I Love by baby because ..she dresses herself. She feeds herself breakfast ..”… and as you can imagine, the little girl is shown doing her own version of  “dressing herself and eating breakfast”! The whole day goes by as the little girl “helps’ mommy with the household chores in her own way (Seriously, the mommy in the book is too good to be true!) and despite all the exhaustion, the mother can only feel unending love and warmth as she cuddles her daughter close at bedtime and ends up falling asleep herself! Feels familiar…doesn’t it? Happy mother’s day to all mommies!

Four is Fun!!

After almost nine years of being "Abhay's mom", it certainly took a while for me to get used to being identified as "Aadya's mom'! Even after four years, it still takes a tad longer to respond to "Are you Aadya's mom?"  With a huge age gap between kids, the younger one is always ...well... the little one, and not to be reckoned for a good many things - be it choice of music in the car, or choice of cuisine while eating out, or even choice of a movie we plan on watching....... it's almost always the choice of our Mr.know-it-all Big brother which takes precedence....and the younger one almost always just goes with it.... either because she is easy going  or that she adores her older brother  and wants to follow on his ever step ....at least that's how it is in our household!!  It's not until her fourth birthday (which was a couple of days ago) that it hit us....that our younger one is not so little anymore and is slowly acquiring her own persona and surely a force to reckon with! It's amazing to see these little extensions of yourself, grow out of the same cocoon into very different personalities - with distinct temperaments, tastes and of course.... quirks!  Just as her fourth birthday was approaching, she had already a dress in mind .....something on the lines of "Fancy Nancy's" over-the-top-frilly frocks, announced that her birthday cake would be a pink flavoured one and was even clear on the guest list!  Wow! Aadya has already shown early signs of turning into a birthdayzilla!!

So we got together two of her same-age cousins  for a creative artsy and crafty outing at "Tug Bug children's center" followed by cutting of cake and dinner with the extended family.

Ever wondered if we make way too much of the fifth birthday when turning four is just as big? Tulika's   "Four" is just the answer to it! "Four" by Poile Sen Gupta and illustrated by Greystroke was first written for the fourth birthday of the traveling children's bookshop and my favourites, Funky Rainbow.   Ela cant contain her excitement as she is turning four and is let into the significance of the number four - from four limbs of animals to four eyes of her bespectacled grandma, from a thumb and four fingers to four wheels of her car and finally to the four cardinal directions!!  Not only did my four year enjoy the book, she was all for "North-South-East-West" all day long!! Simple yet superbly funny...... this book shares an instant connect with four year olds waiting in wings for the world to give them their due!  We loved the funky illustrations, especially of  the contemporary looking grandma! Having read this on her fourth birthday, Aadya felt as if the book had been specially written for her.....and the fact the book had been signed  by author for Aadya made it extra special! Four is sure fun.....Enjoy your fourth year ahead ..my not-so-little-one!  

Angry "A"s!

What makes you angry? When your clients dodge paying up after extracting all the work from you? Or when you feel your entire weekend being devoured by your kids leaving absolutely no 'me-time'?  Or when your little sister is a ubiquitous presence at home, staking claim to all of your parents' attention? Or when you are not allowed to snack on your favourite junk food (which happens to be right before dinner time!)........ these are a few reasons that makes us go all red and hot! Off late, both our 'A's (as we fondly refer to our kids both whose names begin with the first alphabet) have been experiencing certain anger issues in their own way........if one is transitioning from tween years to teens.... the other is moving from thunderous threes to fussy fours!! While we dialed in  for "Toddler 911 techniques" for the latter, for the former we decided to introspect and look within and like most children's issues....it's no surprise that this too stems from the parents! While anger is a natural feeling when things don't go as expected, it's how we choose to react and express our anger that has a direct bearing on how our kids let their steam out! We yell and they yell, we abuse and they abuse, we curse and .........well.....they'll think cursing is cool!

Of course, avoiding all kinds of outbursts or shouting-matches is easier said than done, and it's convenient to let it slip a few times and blame it on children themselves or rationalize the same as parental authority! But seriously...who are we kidding? They are as we are and they will turn out as we have turned out. As the saying goes ....children are great imitators...so give them something great to imitate!

As we all learn to deal with our own anger management issues, I discovered an insightful little children's book on the same subject by Pratham publications titled "Angry Akku" by Vinayak Verma. Recently awarded the Hindu Young-World Good Books award for the Best Picture book: Story category, this book is based on a theme that transcends all age groups and makes a delightful read for one and all.  Even the name of the little girl reminds me of Kannada author Vaidehi's story of a strong willed woman named "Akku" with her own anger management and mental health issues that was even adapted into theater and later a movie. I wonder if the author drew inspiration from the same....!

Anyway, as little Akku is picked up from school by her father, he notices that Akku is not her usual perky self but is upset over something. Nothing seem to cheer her up...if the sun flowers on the way are "too yellow", the monkeys on the roof of her house are "Chee!" Nothing that appa has to offer softens her mood..... and though she refuses to down a glass of buttermilk or crunch into the crispy vadas.... on second thoughts  she polishes off the plate in no time!  Despite being in an unenviable situation, I envy the father's ability to stay patient and adopt a therapeutic  approach to letting Akku's anger subside! Why is Akku angry or most importantly, does Akku finally cool down?  Read on to find Akku's  annoyance melting away as she turns from Angry Akku to Artist Akku!  Aided by vibrant and imaginative illustrations,  and endearingly relatable portrayal of its protagonists, this book is truly one of the best picture books in recent times! Even on a personal level Angry Akku is a big hit at home as I see my little one imitating Akku in one of her own angry avatars and my older one trying out the ten best things suggested when he feels angry like Akku and  our lives are all about juggling between them as we learn to deal with our own angry-Akku-moods!    

Not a morning person!!

My little one has been a morning person ever since I can remember! Well.....barring a few bad days................she was pretty much pleased to open her eyes to the world around her.  So much so that no sooner did she wake up than she was ready to ride with her dad on the bike to drop her brother to the school-bus pick up. In fact, there were days when I had wished that she would sleep in a bit more so as to allow us a morning walk together in the near-by forest reserve.  I should have known better.... with two kids you lead your life by taking turns! :-)

Anyway, over the past few months, we have been having trouble getting her out of the bed in the morning. I'm not sure if it's because of the fact that our live-in nanny has now been replaced with a day-care-giver, leaving us to manage the never-ending-nightly bedtime routine and the always-on-your-toes morning routine  on our own (like all parents...I know...we were spoilt!), or the sudden cold spell in Bangalore or the change in her sleep patterns owing to the change in care givers..... our little one simply refuses to wake up!!! Frankly, I now miss our little Miss morning sunshine who used to smile as she first opened her eyes eager to see what the day has in store for her!  Not anymore......well....as my husband said ..... 'the real world has probably dawned on her" !:-)

So I fell back on a book that showcases a similar situation so as to help us ponder over the same and find a way out. Though this book has been around for a while now, it is only now that I found it to be relatable for my little one. "No" a bilingual book by Cheryl Rao and illustrated by Samitha Gunjal  by Tulika publications is a simple and endearing tale of a little girl named Annika who simply refuses to wake up in the morning! Though her father gently goads her into getting her out of bed with all the her favourite things she will probably look forward to doing..... from wearing her new dress, new shoes with matching socks, even her butterfly clip (when for a moment she opens her eyes) and also savour her favourite breakfast dish - poori-potato baji ...... Annika simply doesn't budge and her state mirrored by her pet cat!  But then as the father finally mentions her most favourite activity, saving the best for the last........Annika along with her cat jumps  out of bed to quickly get ready - brushes her teeth and takes a bath and puts on her new dress, new shoes with matching socks and gets her butterfly clip for papa to help her with and sits down with papa for downing her favourite poori-potato bajji that papa has lovingly dished out.......(wow!)..Annika is all set to go and she and her father are off to catch a bus to Dadi's house!  Aided by suitable and playful illustrations, the  book also includes certain subtle elements to impress upon the young minds and adults alike, from gender neutral hands-on parenting and self-reliance in young children  to using public transportation, etc. Though the book is based on a simple theme, it perfectly captures the mind of a young girl and sure manages to bring a smile on your face as you find your toddler relate to Annika's morning routine in many ways........ but you can only hope to achieve the same success Annika's father!  Anyway...taking a cue from Annika’s father, we woke up Aadya in morning with a promise to visit her grandparents over the weekend....... are now on a bus to Dharmasthala !!! 

The Taj Mahal experience!

If Delhi symbolises a fast paced metropolis, Agra is a city/town that is not in any hurry! Mainly centered around the Taj Mahal, Agra being a mandatory stop for most International tourists touring India, chances are that every second person you bump into is masquerading as a tourist guide. While tourist guides help, I feel it is best to take an audio tour as and when provided by Archaeological Survey of India (ASI) as most tourist guides, especially the ones catering to Indian tourists lack necessary knowledge and only seek to rush through the visit in order to take you shopping at a place that offers them commission! 

Taj Mahal is best seen at sun rise, when it is relatively less crowded and the crimson hues are faintly reflected in the white. Luckily we were put up close to the Taj Mahal so as to enable multiple visits to the monument and thus enjoyed a wholesome experience of the splendour and beauty of the Taj Mahal. As you walk past the security check, through the red sandstone gateway, and catch the first glimpse of the white marbled edifice... for a brief moment you stand mesmerised and transported into another world... until you are shaken out of your reverie... by the thronging crowds, the tour guide with his broken English and questionable knowledge and the haggling photographers all trying to get their day’s worth from what you had hoped to be one of life’s memorable experiences......and not to mention.. screaming and squabbling kids!

It’s only after we went again the next morning at sunrise without any attachments of tour guide, photographers and kids,  did we get to soak in the sublime beauty of the Taj Mahal! 😊

Anyway, though our Taj Mahal experience with the kids would rank lower than that of our experience sans the kids in terms of our best travel memories,  the overall tour around Mughal era architecture like Taj Mahal, or the light and sound at Agra fort, or the Panch Mahal of Fatehpur Sikri did impress upon Abhay the majesty  and scale of the Mughal era. He did enjoy the Taj Mahal visit and though his memory of this visit may get hazier as the years go by, nevertheless the glorious sight of the most famous monument of India will always be etched in his mind like it was for me, ever since I had first seen Taj Mahal with my parents during less crowded and much simpler times! 

Who knows... decades later as Abhay travels to Agra to show his kids the Taj Mahal...he may laugh over how irritated his mother was or how cranky his little sister was during his previous visit as a twelve year old! 

Now,  Abhay may be able to remember his visit to the Taj Mahal, but what about his three old sister who will in most probabilities have no recollection of the same? Simple... you read a book about it! What are the chances that you plan a visit to a historic monument with your three year old and there’s a wonderful children’s book revolving around the very same place and that too for very young children! Tulika’s “Pooni at the Taj Mahal” by Manjula Padmanabhan is just what I wanted and a book that we carried along during our trip. More like a sequel to “Where’s that Cat?” by the same author where a little girl, Minnie can’t let go of her pet cat, Pooni who seems to have wandered away. Similarly, during Minnie’s trip to the Taj Mahal with her parents, she carries her pet hidden in her back pack. But just they enter the Taj Mahal, Minnie finds her bag empty and the reader is given a peek into where Pooni runs off. Minnie is inconsolable and despite assurances by her parents to find Pooni as soon as they finish the tour, she remains desolate and disinterested with the exquisite marble carvings! Just like all kids... she couldn’t be least bothered about what engages the adults!! So what happens to Pooni..? Does Minnie finally reunite with Poonie? Read on to find a charming little story to enthrall your little one on a tour like this! Beautiful illustrations that present an authentic setting of the Taj Mahal area, realistic portrayal of flustered parents, annoyed tour guide and the tantrums that kids love to throw in crowded public places just when you wish them to leave you to enjoy the surroundings!! Since we had read this book as a prelude to our Taj Mahal visit, our little Minnie was also on the look out for Pooni at the Taj Mahal!! 😊

So much!

Extended family celebrations are something young children always look forward to. I guess it’s only as they grow up that they prefer staying away from them! Since both my kids haven’t reached that I want-to-be -left -alone phase as yet (thank God!) and more so, having been blessed with large extended families on both sides... social interaction with relatives has never been a problem with them (at least so far!) 

While our older one has always been comfortable interacting with his first and second cousins, cousins’ cousins, uncles and aunts, grand uncles and grand aunts, grandparents’ siblings, and grandparents’ cousins, (Phew!) ... at religious or social family gatherings or during their visits home,  (though he may not remember exactly how they may be related to us!), it was a pleasant surprise to see our little one  taking in to her extended family circle with ease and even basking in the extra attention she gets for being one of the youngest in the group.

So it was only natural that one of Aadya's all time favourite books has been  "So Much" by Trish Cooke and illustrations by Helen Oxenbury. A chance find at our  erstwhile favourite hang-out, Kutoohala, I have been waiting for the right occasion to feature this book on Onestoryaday! While we had borrowed and returned this book a multiple times at the library, under the trusted assumption that I could always borrow it again and never once did I imagine that there would be a time when this book would become altogether unavailable on account of closure of the library!  I will never forget that day in March at the library's closure sale when I tried to scourge all the sections of the library looking for this book and finally had to leave with a heavy heart, not only as I couldn't find the book but also because, I could never ever go back to Kutoohala which was more than just a library to me, it was my weekly relaxation therapy, a quiet retreat for me to escape into and a haven for books to pick as I'd imagine my toddler would enjoy! So this book "So much" (which I finally bought online) will always be special as it's a throwback to those good old days when I could stop over on the way back from work, to my little happy place of wonderful children's books!

Steering away from my ramblings, I must say that many of our reading sessions  culminate in a grand finale which almost always happens to be the reading of "So much", a book that is also a shout out to diversity and multi-culturalism. Set in a Caribbean Household with a big extended family full of loud and vivacious relatives,  "So much" is centered around a baby who is the apple of everyone's eye, just like all young kids at home. The day happens to be a special occasion as the mom and baby welcome the relatives who arrive one after another, with the doorbell going "DING DONG" announcing the arrival of all the relatives from aunty Biba, uncle Didi, nanny and gran-gran, to cousin Kay-Kay and big cousin Ross, who arrive in their characteristic styles and all of whom want to engage and pamper the baby in their own way- from wanting to squeeze the baby, to kiss the baby, to eat the baby (figuratively of course), and wrestle the baby as they love him "so much"! As the house gets a little too crowded for comfort with all the noisy relatives driving their own agenda, the final ding-dong sounds off....a moment they have all been waiting for ..... to surprise the baby's daddy on his birthday. This book is a joy to read to your little one .............vivid illustrations, this book also  offers plenty of fun read-aloud moments from guess-work to repetitive phrases for your little one to follow through and not to forget mirroring the cuddles and kisses on to your little one whom you love so much! Well....we couldn't have asked for a better book as it also happens to be the Daddy's birthday today.....which we celebrated with our extended family.............. so Happy birthday to our little one's  daddy! ­:-)

Aha! with Aadya!

July has always symbolized the Aha! International Theatre festival for children and it's almost a tradition of sorts for us to catch more than a play or two at Rangashankara! So much so that every time we are in the vicinity of one of our favourite places in J P Nagar, Abhay is always enquiring as when can he walk into the theatre and hear the "Ahahahaha Ahahahaha Ahahahaha song" play ( which is normally played as an interlude just before a feature performance at the festival). So, however busy we may be or howsoever hectic things get or how many ever homework/test assignments Abhay may have .... Aha! is not be missed!!

While Abhay has been a regular at Rangashankara, I was waiting for my little one  to grow up a bit to experience the Aha! magic and was highly disappointed (and had mentioned so) that last year's Aha! festival did not feature any plays for toddlers (as it did the year before when my little one was only just born). So imagine my delight when I discovered this year's edition Aha! international festival of theatre for children to be an exclusive theatre fest for toddlers!

Well, though I'd like believe that my note of disappointment on last year's post on Aha! festival (and as such it was an but an echo of the long standing demand for more quality programs for very young children),  had anything to do it, this year's Aha! festival is a creative product  of a Theatre workshop for very young children at Katkatha, New Delhi conducted by Barbara Kolling in December 2017.

So this year we skipped our naps and packed our baby bag (we still carry those around!) and off we went to "Rangshankra" ( as my little one puts it). As if mommy's enthusiasm was not enough, her school too jumped into the theatre band wagon all the way to Aha! festival as they gathered all their noisy toddlers into one of the featured plays. 

All the plays sought to introduce the little ones into subtle .shades, shapes, sounds, colours and joys of life as they see it..... just as Arundhathi' Nag put it and to rephrase  Children don't need rapid movements or loud and exaggerated sounds.....a quiet soft movement or subtly nuanced presentation is enough to make them sit up and notice. It may be a spider shaped woolen thread hanging from the clothing line in 'Ool" or the exploring how seemingly mundane objects from everyday life and transform into something striking in "Paper Fantasy" or varied colours created out of an assortment of plastic and refraction of light in "Plasticity"  or an endearing hide and seek play between two characters squeaking "Pattichae" (caught you!) in "Chidiya Udd"..... children did seem fascinated! I'm not sure how much of what they see actually sinks in or how much of what is put up is comprehended.....but the shared experience of watching some of best toddlers' theater live and laughing with your little one sitting on your lap is sure to be one of your most memorable moments in the fleeting early years of his or her childhood! As I see my little one waking up from her usual nap and saying "Rangshnkarage hoguva? (Shall we go to Rangashankara?)... I know that she is asking for more and more of such marvels!

While many of our Rangashankara or Aha! moments have made their way into Onestoryaday, all of them have been related to Abhay. This one is special as it's my little one's first Rangashankara experience and that's why I had to put it down even though it's been more than two weeks since the Toddler Theatre festival!  Anyway, the only person disappointed this year with the Toddlers' theatre festival was the eleven year old older brother!:-(

So on the occasion my little one's initiation to theatre at Rangashankara, we re-read one of her favourite board books introducing various sounds  a child might encounter in his or her surroundings....."Cheep Cheep", a Tulika offering for the very young, with pictures by Sowmya Menon. What are the sounds that your little one is fascinated by? Is the sound of "Koo-koo" of Koel or the "cheep cheep" of the sparrow or the "teep-teep-teep" of the water dripping, or cat going surr surr while drinking milk, or the neighbors singing "Sa Re Ga Ma"? ( or the older brother in our case) .........sounds are everywhere, from natural to man made and to machine made.  Inspired from a Marathi rhyme, this book is vivid yet simple and aided with suitable illustrations, and is almost like a cue for taking the concept forward in guessing other sounds subtle and loud, with your little one, from 'tick-tick-tick of the wall clock, "whistle" of the pressure cooker  or man seller greens shouting "soppu" on the road .... the of world of sounds never fails to fascinate our little ones!  Here's to more such lovely outings with your toddler!!! 

Princess Easy Pleasy!!!

We are in Bhutan.... the land of Gross National Happiness for our summer family vacation!! “Family vacation” is more like a business trip for parents with lists and inventories made out for all kinds of contingencies and emergencies that one might face while travelling with kids! Sometimes it feels like all you do is run around managing your kids’ needs, moods and tantrums that it hardly feels like a vacation at all!!!! That said, it would also be difficult to leave them behind  and enjoy the vacation sans kids.....especially when you get on the plane and   served your children's favorite pasta, or drive through your son's dream view of snow capped mountains, or try your hand at a local sport that your son would sure love, or try out the local costume that you bet would look perfect on your daughter, or taste the local flavors of ice creams.....how can you possibly enjoy without your kids!!! Isn't it?

The biggest challenge during any travel with kids is of course food ...and  finding the kind of food that appeals to our kids palate always keeps one on tenter-hooks!!! In keeping with our family travel tradition that began during our travels with Abhay, we’ve continued to pack our travel size rice cooker, albeit as a back up as our little one is more open about experimenting with different cuisines (touchwood!) when compared to our older one who had an appetite only for “curd rice”!!!! 

But believe me, the back up plan during the first couple of days always ends up being upgraded into the mainstay during the final days of our travel...and for all you realise.... it’s not only the little one who is craving for some Anna-Sambhar!!! 😊

As a prelude to our travel, I had picked up a wonderful book that highlights this exact plight of parents planning a travel with their young kids. A surprise find .. really.. but we’ve latched on to Princess Easy Pleasy ...ever since I chanced upon this book at Kutoohala that I later managed to save during its closure sale. So much so... that inspired from the original story, we’ve also tried to spin off a few other anecdotes in Princess Easy Pleasy style...just to keep our little princess from being displeased!!!!   

“Princess Easy Pleasy” a Karadi tales publication by Natasha Sharma and pictures by Priya Kuriyan revolves around a sprightly and a stubborn little princess who does not find anything up to her expectations as she travels with her parents, the king and queen, to various countries from Hong Kong to China to Singapore to Cambodia to Thailand to Srilanka (considering their choice of destinations... I wonder why they didn’t travel to Bhutan!) In each country,  she seems to have a problem with the milk served, or the vegetables cooked, or the mattress laid out, or the pets around or even the elephant brought in for a ride, having  her parents pander to her almost impossible tastes, finding a scapegoat in the royal packer who’s ordered to add to the packing list, each time the princess throws a fit!!! So in their effort to appease the not-so-easily-pleased princess, the ever expanding list includes a cow, their own chef and their own vegetables and so on and so forth... until things go horribly wrong when the exhausted royal packer quits and all travel plans cancelled by her equally  exhausted parents!!! As the bored princess pleads with her mom to change her mind, her mom yields, however “on one condition” ( and we love this part !) and we all know what it might be... don’t we?? A hilarious take on what is common travel woe of most parents!! In fact, this book provides a great parenting tool too... as the  “on one condition” strategy has come to our aid as we try to get our terrible twos toddler to toe our line!!! 

"Not yet" ready for bed??

One of the many fall-outs of having a long gap between your two kids ( my older one and little one are almost nine years apart) is that the early parenthood phase never seem to end! Just as you get a breather from the 'feeding-nappy-changing-toilet training-putting to bed routine', you've landed yourself into an encore.......as if it were a punishment for your dithering or an afterthought on the second child issue ( at least it was for me!) :-)

I had come to realise this all the more since I had been without hired help last month and it seemed as if I would wrap up one work shift during the day to get into an evening shift of toilet-training-feeding-bathing - putting my little one to bed!! Phew....!!

Of course the exhaustion aside, my husband and I did try to turn around the chores into fun times to share with our little one, with on and off success, even making us wonder if we really needed help with our two and half year old.  But that said, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved when our nanny finally showed up!:-)

So the bedtime reading routine with my little one is like a shopping sale, where you can't get a discount with buying just one ...it's always "buy two and get 30% off and buy three and get 40% off"! So you can't get off by reading just one book, it has to be either three or more! 

The last book always happens to be Tulika's bi-lingual "Not yet"  by Nandana Dev Sen and pictures by Niloufer Wadia, the Kannada translation being "Eegale Beda" that  we both relate to, with translation by Bageshree. This book beautifully illustrates the sprightly unwillingness of a little girl who is "not yet" ready for bed! As her mother (totally identify with you, woman!) goads her little one into the bedtime routine of drinking  milk-cleaning up-changing-brushing teeth,   a routine that almost seem never ending.......but the little girl is busy in her imaginary animal world where she joins with her favourite animals from flying with the birds to diving in with the whale, from tickling the giraffes to playing tag with the crocodile, from singing in chorus with the rhinos to swinging with the monkeys....it is nothing but an animal circus at bedtime! Finally as she wears herself out and wears her mother down, she is tucked into bed with her favourite animal blanket to keep her company. The narrative and illustrations are brilliantly woven together to bring out a charming bedtime tale for toddlers!  Finally, an Indian bedtime book that can truly rival with numerous western publications, when it comes to the bedtime business!!

Zoo time in December!

Like many, we are on our annual year end vacation and like every year, we are at my parents' farm "Shristi" at Dharmasthala for a combined celebration of new year's eve and my father's birthday!

Like every year, this year too we managed to squeeze in a visit to the nearest city, Mangaluru, with a mandatory stop at one of its beaches and another one at the local zoo, which has in a way become a tradition of our annual December vacation. 

While it’s important to discover the new and explore the hitherto unchartered experiences, I feel it is also reassuring to slip into familiar patterns or revisit known experiences at regular intervals so as to understand the value of what we have and how we have evolved! 

Anyway, for my little one, the highlight of this trip has been receiving her mother’s undivided attention. With courts on vacation, and the office shut and no clients to disturb, I guess I almost made up for my near absence during the previous weeks, on account of work. As we are at an end of our vacation, and are soon to get back on the work mode, I now feel weaning her off would be the first challenge of the new year!!!! 

Anyway, another memorable feature of this trip for my little one has been a visit to the Pilikula Biological park near Mangaluru. While this is not the first time we have visited the park, it is the first time that my toddler took notice of the animals she saw in the zoo. A truly well maintained zoo, with a great variety of animals that can be viewed within a short distance range (with the hippo treating us to a spectacle of 180 degrees wide open mouth and tigers allowing for the closest view ever!)  and a battery operated vehicle to take the visitors around, Pilikula Biological park is a must visit spot in Mangaluru. 

As a follow up to the visit to Pilikula Biological park, we read Tulika's latest offering for toddlers " Im going to the zoo" by Narendra Jain and illustrated by Alakrita Amaya and the Kannada translated by Nayana Kashyap, which makes a delightful read for young children. With age guideline mentioned as two and above,  it didn't take long for this book be the new favourite of my little one.  Narrated in first person by a little girl on her trip the zoo as she saunters around the animal shelters, wide eyed with fascination at the long trunk of the elephant, ferocious growl of the lion or the sky high neck of the giraffe, or the green-blue colours of the parrots,  or the water-borne giant hippo  or grass eating one horned wonder of a rhino... there's no reason for not to love the zoo!!! Simple verses accompanied by colourful and playful yet realistic illustrations, this book is a must have for the toddler library! Well...as advertised by Tulika " Tots like it lots" 

So as we look back on the year that has gone by and reassess our lives, and look forward to the coming year, here's to the pleasantly familiar and excitingly new in 2018.... a very happy new year everyone! 

Aadya goes to playgroup!

I wouldn’t say that parenting a second child is easier than the first time around but you are certainly a lot more laid back the second time around, given the many ‘been there and done that’ instances that you come across as your little one grows through the usual milestones. What had earlier caused a storm in the household would hardly cause a flutter now; What appeared to be a mountain earlier is not even mole hill now; Similarly, the things that you fussed over your older one, don’t appear to fuss-worthy with your little one;  Of course, there may be many first-time issues with your younger one that you’ve never encountered before,  but wizened up over your parenting years, you know that you gotta do what you gotta  to do and there is no point in stressing too much over it…..as ultimately “The Kids are all Right”!!!

On the flipside though, you can also run the risk of taking some things a little too lightly as there is always a thin line between nonchalance and neglect. I suddenly realized that while Abhay’s first days of school were a big event, I don’t even remember Aadya’s first day of  her play-school.  It was only when we went for  Aadya’s  first school event, that it struck me that though it’s been close to six months since my little one started playschool, I don’t even have a post on the same on Onestoryaday! 

So to make up for all this lassitude and as its better late than never,  we revisited a book that we had read as she started school in June, one more gem from Kutoohala, “Goat goes to Playgroup” by Julia Donaldson and Nick Sharatt, Perfect for toddlers starting pre-school/playgroup, this book is centered around the mischievous little goat who joins his other animal friends in the school playgroup. The character of the goat is mirrored on that naughty little kid in the class, who never seems to sit in the designated place during circle time, or mixes and messes up the water colours while painting, tries out dangerous stunts in the play ground and has accidents everywhere ( My little one is in this phase now!) 

A lovely book for the little ones, with playful illustrations to identify with and laugh over and simple one-liner verses to read and repeat, a perfect play-group book. My little one…you may be growing up sooner than we can keep up……but going down the same path the second time over makes it much more enjoyable and memorable than the first time! As you begin a new chapter in your life........enjoy the school days…those golden rule days!!  

Happy Birthday Abhay-anna!

I guess this is the first time that Abhay has had to write an exam on his birthday and so there was nothing “Happy” about the first half of his birthday and this may not be the last time he would have an exam on his birthday as the month of September has always been the mid-term exam season for as long as I can remember….and that he has now come to encounter this in class six. Well…..what can I say…. Welcome to the real world buddy….. as no matter what …you gotta work when you gotta work!

Anyway, kids these days have a lot of expectations from their parents to make their birthdays special and  celebrating birthdays with cake and a few gifts followed by a quiet family dinner does not exactly quality as “special” anymore…all that’s given anyway! It almost feels like you’re trying to impress your boss when he says “Hmm…I wonder what else is cooking up for my birthday…”!!Phew!

 

Of course….each of us had our own way making Abhay’s eleventh birthday extra special…from home made delicacies dished out by his paternal grandma to the gifts ordered off the internet (as if on Abhay’s birthday registry) on behalf of his maternal grandparents, from  the old-school style of gifting a watch by his grandpa to the host of knick-knacks and gifts bought by his father and to the new-generation  dedication on a local FM station on the radio by his mom…from numerous whatsapp messages (and still counting) on our various family and friends’ groups  to the babbled “Happy Birthday Abhay-anna” from his baby sister…. We all chipped in to make the whole day better than all the individual specials put together…..after all the whole is definitely greater than the sum of its parts and  I sincerely hope that Abhay grows up to understand the same!!

In keeping with the recently devised  birthday tradition (that began only over three years ago and I don’t know how long we can keep it up as he grows older!) we had a birthday treasure hunt of eleven gifts symbolizing each year of his life, with the first clue handed over by his sister!  So celebrating her brothers birthday, we read about a baby leopard’s “Hide and Seek Birthday Treat” by Linda Jennings and Joanne Partis. Brightly coloured and narrated in rhyming verses, this book (another gem from Kutoohala)  is a sure delight to read aloud to a toddler who will sure be excited to go on a breezy “I Spy” adventure  of various animals of jungle who all missing on the leopard on the day of his birthday!  As the baby leopard goes looking for his friends from zebra to lion, from snake to crocodile and is almost disappointed to find none present for his birthday only to realize that they were all in the hiding for a reason…. To throw the baby leopard a surprise birthday party!! Despite nursing a viral infection, our  little one couldn’t be more excited on her big brother’s birthday……Happy Birthday to Abhay-anna! J

My Brother!

Last week began with Rakhi, the Indian festival celebrating the brother-sister bond, which has acquired greater significance in our household, since the arrival of Abhay’s little sister. While the last two years had been a one-sided affair with the little sister too young to even comprehend what was happening, Rakhi was celebrated more for Abhay to accept the fact that he is now a big brother. This year, however, with the little sister already looking up to her ‘anna’ for many a things at home, and the concept of Rakhi also reinforced by the celebration in her playschool, it felt as if ‘Rakshbandhan” has truly arrived and will always be a special day in the lives of Abhay and his baby sister.

Of course, with Abhay too young  (or should I say too self centered?) to pick out a gift for his sister on his own, it was our job to fill the gap…well at least until he grows old and mature enough to understand that Rakhi is not all about “the brother”! But I must say that the transition of Abhay from being an only child to a big brother has been more or less smooth, with an occasional hiccups, quite expected of a young boy that we often forget that he is, after all! Well done ...big brother!! 

On the occasion of Rakhi, we read what the little sister loves to call the book “Anna-book” – Anthony Browne’s “My Brother ”. Narrated in first person from the perspective of a little brother who almost worships his big brother, who believes that his big brother is capable of everything – from climbing walls to flying, from standing up to bullies to containing monsters, from being a rockstar-like singer to grooving like Elvis Presley, from being avid reader to a talented artist, big brother is sure a cool cat (at least sometimes!) and you can almost feel the little brother wanting to emulate him as as he considers himself to be as cool as his big brother! Narrated  by way of simple one liners that come alive with brilliant illustrations archetypal of Anthony Browne’s books…this book makes for a splendid Rakhi read!!  Belated wishes to all the brother-sister duos on the occasion of the Rakhi season! :-) 

When Mama Comes Home Tonight..!

Just when the omnipresent working mom’s guilt had begun to ease with Abhay growing independent enough not to need his mom at every juncture, its back to square one with my little one!  Though being an independent professional allows one the flexibility to combine work with certain personal responsibilities that a structured job does not make room for, that does not automatically being about a greater work-life balance. Technically, there are no ‘day-offs’ or ‘sick-days” or “paid leaves” or even “public holidays”! While being busy is a good sign for an independent professional, it can also lead on to biting off more than one can chew.... often blurring the lines between home and work…and that’s when your support structure at home truly matters.

Well, notwithstanding umpteen number of day-cares that have mushroomed on every street of the city, most working moms depend on some sort of a support structure at home, at least during the early childhood phase of their kids – be it in the form of parents, in-laws or nannies, etc. Till recently, I was in between nannies …..the uncertainty  of which, believe me,  is worse than being in between jobs! With each passing day, things turn from bad to worse, leaving you at the mercy of these maid/nanny agencies that is probably the only business not affected by any kind of recession! Of course with each passing day, the helplessness makes you doubt the wisdom of your choice of getting back to work with a young kid in tow. Finally, when you find that your prayers have been answered, there is still a sense of uncertainty over whether the new help is here stay or will she vanish into thin air …like her predecessors! So while some semblance of sanity has been restored in our household, following the appointment of a new nanny for our little one, we never know when the rug will get pulled from under our feet…once again!

Anyway, this is an age old saga of a working mom that will only end when her kids fly out of their nests (or will it??). Meanwhile we shouldn’t forget to enjoy the small pleasures of life with kids  that includes reading to them which may turn out to be more of a relaxation therapy for the mothers!

Not very often do you come across a book that you can so well relate to, that it almost feels like to have been written only for you! “When Mama Comes Home Tonight” by Eileen Spinelli and illustrated by Jane Dyer is one such book that is a must-read for every mom, (especially working moms) to a young child! So much so that even the illustrator dedicates the book “To all mothers who come home tired at the end of the day….”! This book assumes a reassuring tone for all the kids waiting for their mamas to return home. With a beautiful narrative, the author vividly captures the daily routine of a mother once she is back at home…and how everything she does, involves her little one .. ..from hugging her little one tight to feeding her dinner and dancing with her down the hall, from engaging in quiet play to looking out of the window for stars and moon in the night, from mending the little one’s clothing while fixing her own and taking some time off for a cup of tea while letting her little one have a sip or two, from getting her into a bedtime routine of bathing her…reading to her and finally putting her to sleep with her soft lullabies in the company of her soft toys…mamma stays on till the end!  

Even the soft and tender water colour-like illustrations of the mother-child duo seem so real and familiar that it may as well be straight from one of our households. Personally, the illustration of the thumb-sucking-curly-haired little girl makes the book seem like a customized picture for me and my little one! Though based on a simple theme, its sublime presentation enhanced by soothing illustrations make a comforting read for all mothers and their little ones alike!