Gone Grandmother!

Suddenly...she's gone!

The most celebrated member of our household, the senior most member of our entire family and one of the few people who lived to see an entire century unfold in front of her eyes is no more. Our beloved centenarian grandmother, who's hundredth birthday we'd just celebrated earlier this year breathed her last, early this month. While we knew she had lead a  full and fruitful life always surrounded by her near and dear ones down to even the fifth generation of great-great-grandson, and death was a near eventuality, the suddenness of it all still baffles us!  It was meant to be a routine/ precautionary visit to the doctor just before our impending pre-planned travel, followed by hospitalization for administration of drips for a day or two.........little did we realize that it was time for Doddamma's rendezvous with death!

Now that the obsequies and last rites performed by her eight septuagenarian and sexagenarian children are complete, the relatives have left, and everyone has got on with their daily humdrum of life, we miss her a lot, especially in the little things that had been interwoven into our daily routine - during mealtimes we remember pulling out her silver thali along with our steel thalis  or during the daily pooja we'd fondly recall her picking up to beat the traditional 'jagante'  during the 'arathi" or how she would always wheel herself into the makeshift football play area our living room is often turned into, much to Abhay's chagrin, or the sound of her coughing that I could hear from my office that shared the same wall as her room, or when we still end up peeping into her room to wave goodbye while leaving for work.........it would certainly take a while for us to get used to living without our grand old matriarch. Thanks to the love, constant care and sacrifice  of  her primary care givers, viz. her eldest son and daughter-in-law,  our grandmother or "Doddamma" could lead a long and healthy life with such joy and enthusiasm  (even as she was wheelchair bound) that was unmatched and is truly hard to come by in  today's  technology-driven and impatient millennial world!.

Since we were travelling when our doddamma passed away and could not witness the formalities leading up to her cremation, it was hard for us post our return, to fathom  the thought that doddamma is no more! So much so that even now I almost expect doddamma to wheel herself out of the front room at the sound of pooja bell!!  As we got back, my little one roamed all around the house in search of her favourite companion, who'd keep her company in any indoor game or play the patient audience to her funny antics or join in a jagante duet during the Friday evening pooja.. .....  her dodda ajji was nowhere in sight!    

Abhay too fondly remembers his friendly territorial fights with dodda-ajji as he set out play indoors or how he would coax her into listening to him practice his music lessons or how dodda-ajji would always come to his rescue when being disciplined by his parents! Ever since he remembers, Dodda-ajji has always been a big part of his life at home, and now that's she's gone... he too misses her. So I had picked out a wonderful book that throws light on bereavement, especially from the perspective of young children, "Gone Grandmother", a Tulika publication by Chatura Rao and Krishna Bala Shenoi. Nina's grandmother went away before she could say  goodbye. Though the next day and the day after appeared to be the same....in terms of her surroundings, her school and her friends, it felt  different.... ...... as her Nani didn't come back and it was as if she'd disappeared into thin air. When she quizzes her mother as to where has nani gone, her mother replies "to the stars". Just as she tries to figure out as to whether her nani has really gone to the stars or God's home or has in turn become a part of the air we breathe or the soil below, she fondly remembers her times with nani - the general knowledge book that she'd read with her, or listen to Vividh Bharathi with nani while jumping the skipping rope, or recalls some endearing moments exclusive to the grandchild-grandmother bond. She finally realizes that she may never see her nani in her plump-cuddly shape again..... but can find her  nani  shining down at her as the brightest star in the sky! A poignantly narrated  tale that beautifully captures the child's grief and dilemma over the loss of a loved one and how she comes to terms with the same. Abhay liked the author's philosophical take on death of aged grandparents and was touched by the book. Though my little one is too young to understand what happened, or too young to fully grasp dodda-ajji's absence  and may be just too young to probably remember as she grows up, her times with dodda-ajji...... but as of now, her answer to the question"Where is dodda-ajji?" seems to be "Dodda-ajji is with God"!  Rest in peace...dear doddamma! 

The Taj Mahal experience!

If Delhi symbolises a fast paced metropolis, Agra is a city/town that is not in any hurry! Mainly centered around the Taj Mahal, Agra being a mandatory stop for most International tourists touring India, chances are that every second person you bump into is masquerading as a tourist guide. While tourist guides help, I feel it is best to take an audio tour as and when provided by Archaeological Survey of India (ASI) as most tourist guides, especially the ones catering to Indian tourists lack necessary knowledge and only seek to rush through the visit in order to take you shopping at a place that offers them commission! 

Taj Mahal is best seen at sun rise, when it is relatively less crowded and the crimson hues are faintly reflected in the white. Luckily we were put up close to the Taj Mahal so as to enable multiple visits to the monument and thus enjoyed a wholesome experience of the splendour and beauty of the Taj Mahal. As you walk past the security check, through the red sandstone gateway, and catch the first glimpse of the white marbled edifice... for a brief moment you stand mesmerised and transported into another world... until you are shaken out of your reverie... by the thronging crowds, the tour guide with his broken English and questionable knowledge and the haggling photographers all trying to get their day’s worth from what you had hoped to be one of life’s memorable experiences......and not to mention.. screaming and squabbling kids!

It’s only after we went again the next morning at sunrise without any attachments of tour guide, photographers and kids,  did we get to soak in the sublime beauty of the Taj Mahal! 😊

Anyway, though our Taj Mahal experience with the kids would rank lower than that of our experience sans the kids in terms of our best travel memories,  the overall tour around Mughal era architecture like Taj Mahal, or the light and sound at Agra fort, or the Panch Mahal of Fatehpur Sikri did impress upon Abhay the majesty  and scale of the Mughal era. He did enjoy the Taj Mahal visit and though his memory of this visit may get hazier as the years go by, nevertheless the glorious sight of the most famous monument of India will always be etched in his mind like it was for me, ever since I had first seen Taj Mahal with my parents during less crowded and much simpler times! 

Who knows... decades later as Abhay travels to Agra to show his kids the Taj Mahal...he may laugh over how irritated his mother was or how cranky his little sister was during his previous visit as a twelve year old! 

Now,  Abhay may be able to remember his visit to the Taj Mahal, but what about his three old sister who will in most probabilities have no recollection of the same? Simple... you read a book about it! What are the chances that you plan a visit to a historic monument with your three year old and there’s a wonderful children’s book revolving around the very same place and that too for very young children! Tulika’s “Pooni at the Taj Mahal” by Manjula Padmanabhan is just what I wanted and a book that we carried along during our trip. More like a sequel to “Where’s that Cat?” by the same author where a little girl, Minnie can’t let go of her pet cat, Pooni who seems to have wandered away. Similarly, during Minnie’s trip to the Taj Mahal with her parents, she carries her pet hidden in her back pack. But just they enter the Taj Mahal, Minnie finds her bag empty and the reader is given a peek into where Pooni runs off. Minnie is inconsolable and despite assurances by her parents to find Pooni as soon as they finish the tour, she remains desolate and disinterested with the exquisite marble carvings! Just like all kids... she couldn’t be least bothered about what engages the adults!! So what happens to Pooni..? Does Minnie finally reunite with Poonie? Read on to find a charming little story to enthrall your little one on a tour like this! Beautiful illustrations that present an authentic setting of the Taj Mahal area, realistic portrayal of flustered parents, annoyed tour guide and the tantrums that kids love to throw in crowded public places just when you wish them to leave you to enjoy the surroundings!! Since we had read this book as a prelude to our Taj Mahal visit, our little Minnie was also on the look out for Pooni at the Taj Mahal!! 😊

When in Delhi....

We are in the capital city of Delhi as a part of the almost-golden-triangle tour of Delhi and Agra minus Jaipur. Our travel is however slightly marred by a family bereavement that didn’t allow for a last minute cancellation owing to which we had to go ahead with the trip anyways. Despite such downers, including the reported high pollution levels this season, the massive metropolis of Delhi being the seat of Government of India, with its majestic Mughal-era monuments, vibrant cultural mix, it’s bustling shopping centres,  chockablock traffic ridden roads and the loud and couldn’t care less attitude of Delhi-ites didn’t cease to fascinate us, particularly Abhay who was in awe with the historical monuments such as the Qutub Minar and the imposing Red Fort.  Our mornings began with a walk in Delhi’s “Jantar Mantar “ which to our great fortune was located just opposite our hotel and followed by touring around the usual must-see-spots of the capital, like the  India Gate, Lotus temple, Qutub Minar, Red fort, Jumma Masjid, which also felt like a trip down memory lane for me as I distinctly remembered tagging along with my parents as a nine year old visiting these very places! Of course, if Appu ghar was the highlight of my Delhi trip back in the eighties... “Madame Tussaud’s Wax museum” seems to be the current favourite, especially Abhay’s favourite where he got to pose next to his favourite football stars! 

Of course, balancing the diverse inter-generational interests is always a challenge in any travel. While you may be interested in catching the light and sound show at a historic monument, your twelve year old may want to hit the pool in the hotel, or you wish you could listen intently to the tourist guide’s take on a particular historical aspect of Red fort interiors, but it’s a hard ask when you have to watch over your little one following the squirrels in the lawn 😊

Anyway, since the raison detre of the Delhi-Agra trip was Abhay’s history syllabus this year that dealt with Delhi Sultanate and Mughal history, we picked up “When in Delhi” a Katha publication by Mamta Nainy and art by Jayanto. A one of a kind travel book for the young, and narrated through the perspective of Ruchi or Fifee, short for Fidgety Feet, as she likes to call herself and her pet friend Lattoo, this book seeks to introduce what Delhi is, was and best represents while giving the reader a brief introduction to some of Delhi’s well known tourist sites, with a dash of history and fun facts and essential information as to timings, how to get there and the nearest metro station. Accompanied by comic style illustrations of what really goes on amidst many of the attractions, this book beautifully captures the diversity of Delhi and can certainly serve as a children’s home grown lonely planet guide to Delhi. Don’t forget to pick up your copy... when in Delhi!!! 

Our BLF weekend!

It was the much awaited BLF weekend here in Namma Bengaluru! To me personally, the Bangalore Lit Fest feels more like a Bibliophile's intellectual “amusement park”... there’s so much to experience with so little time ...........when you wish you could turn back time like Hermione in  “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” and attend two parallel sessions on different platforms at the same time............ as you juggle between thought-provoking discussions on various issues ranging from literature to social and political issues on three different platforms........as you scan through the schedule and are unable to decide whether the next one in “Naale ba” is better than the one happening on the “The Red couch” or the parallel one at "Adjust Madi" ............ bumping into other bibliophile friends while scurrying off to buy books and get them signed by authors besides checking on the while checking on your younger ones at the Children's Lit Fest..... Phew!  you are always in that “fear of missing out” mindset!!! 

I must say that the 7th edition of Bangalore Lit Fest had a lot more to offer than its previous editions for children with over 50 sessions spread across two platforms - "Malgudi" for children aged between 5 and 11 and “Narnia” for children aged 11 to 15. It fell short only so far as very young children who only had a trampoline to keep them engaged ... let’s hope they fill out that gap too in the coming year. 

So much so that in my zealousness of making the most out of what can be called  Bangalore's community event ........I was even accused of constantly breathing down Abhay’s neck ( Abhay's dad will call out 'mine too' here!)....in overriding their choices for mine! :-) I mean seriously, how can one let go when the choice is between "Happy Fox: Illustration time" and "Teen Blues" by Poile Sen Gupta or  “Ma, I want to be a journalist ?” with Barkha Dutt and Mukund Padmanabhan ? 

The highlight for Abhay was a session with Stephen Alter, an author we'd discovered at the Cambridge Book Depot at Mussoorie last year. Though we had picked up "The Secret Sanctuary" last year on the recommendation of Mr. Arora of Cambridge Book Depot, it was not until Abhay actually met Mr. Stephen Alter himself at the CLF that he began evincing an interest in his stories. 

While the focus of Mr. Stephen Alter's session "Cloudfarers: How to run away from school" revolved around his recently released book "The Cloudfarers", we found a similar thread running through his earlier book as well. Abhay couldn't help but wonder if Stephen Alter did not like school but enjoyed writing! Dedicated to  "every student who has gazed through a window and wished that she or he could escape outdoors instead of being trapped inside a classroom", The Secret Sanctuary by Stephen Alter and illustrated by Prabha Mallya centered around the natural environment surrounding the three kids  Manohar, Pradeep and Kamala  and their connect with nature and how it is inter-persed with who they are and how they lead their lives. Abhay who thoroughly enjoyed listening to Stephen Alter talk, his unassumingly friendly demeanor and his tongue-in-cheek humour...........and thus looked forward to revisiting the "The Secret Sanctuary" before scaling up to "The Cloudfarers". Enjoy reading Abhay.....and as one of BLF's theme goes "A good book is an event in my life"....may you come across more such events in your life...... ! Thank you BLF for a cracker of a weekend!

A Holiday Adventure..!

September has always been an eventful month for us........but this September has been so busy that we're still trying to catch our breaths from having survived one of the most hectic months of the year...so much so that its only in the third week of October that I have finally found time to put down a post on Onesatoraday!  

One big family wedding, one big birthday, two huge annual family religious events punctuated by my in-between-nannies phase (yet again!) along with our usual attendant responsibilities on the personal and professional front, proved to be a true test of my patience and I can't say that I came out with flying colours!

In fact, I even missed out posting on a must-post-day... my son's birthday that too I'm not sure if that's the way it will be, going forward, considering his transition into adolescence already turning tumultuous particularly with regard to our relationship, off late! If you thought early parenting was difficult, wait till your little one nears teen years....it's as they say full-blown "complicated"! Mind you....it's a confusing phase not only for your wannabe adolescent ..! While one moment you marvel at how grown up or mature he may seem in comprehending the ways of the world, the next moment he can rile you up with his lackadaisical attitude! Whether it's the increasing academic pressure requiring persistent 'follow up', or constant obsession with devices, or their jaded sense of entitlement towards everything in general, adolescent kids can literally drive you nuts..... and it always seems like you are the only one facing these challenges while your contemporaries have it a lot easier!

Anyway, I'm sure Abhay's and my love-hate relationship will continue through his teen years and if not anything else, it will probably yield many such posts on Onestoryaday!   While we marked the completion of his twelfth year, by acknowledging the fact that there are more than a dozen reasons to celebrate, it is also a matter of fact that there may be more than a dozen ways to handle this delicate phase of his life...........but patience is the key......and I'm hoping to work on my patience quotient ....with of course more than a dozen suggestions offered by my loving family! :-) Though it's a little too late to wish you happy birthday Abhay, here's wishing you a conflict-free, initiative-driven and  a contented thirteenth year ahead!  Let's hope your thirteen proves to be lucky for all of us!

Anyway, with Abhay's increasing irritation and my waning patience at home, it was a welcome break (for both of us!) that he chose to spend his Dassera vacations with his grandparents', resulting in the shifting of battleground from home to his grandparents' farm house "Shristi" at Dharmasthala :-) Hehe!....... Grandparents were also parents once....... (and still are!) .....right? :-)

So before he left for his grandparents', we managed to finally finish reading Shashi Deshpande's children's omnibus,  "Three Novels" a Penguin publication, which is a compilation of three of Shashi Deshpande's novels for children aged 8 and above. Incidentally, all three novels revolve around holiday adventures of kids, that too away from their parents. First published in the 1970s, from one of my all time favourite authors, each of these stories is a throwback to the times when life was simple and less equaled more. Reminiscent of   "The Famous Five" and "The Secret Seven" mystery series that we would devour voraciously back in our school days, Shashi Deshpande follows four cousins, viz. Dinu, Minu, Polly and  Ravi in their quest for something exciting during their school holidays leading to uncovering certain mysterious incidents in the big bad adult world. 

"A Summer Adventure", has the kids home alone with their maid in the seemingly quiet environs of their university quarters, recently turned unsafe owing to a string of robberies.  with a string of robberies which they try to solve. "The Hidden treasure" has the kids travel to their father's ancestral home in the village to experience the rustic rural set up, only to discover something valuable hidden from the past. "The Only Witness"  has the kids enamored with big city life in Mumbai as they  travel to their uncle's flat when they stumble upon an unusual connection to a spate of bank robberies. Having been a huge fan of the Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys series, The Famous Five, etc, I found the plots take a predictable turn, however the best part being the inter-play of various characters in the stories, encompassing  various elements like family ties, sibling rivalry, good humoured banter between the older and younger siblings, fostering leadership and responsibility, understanding consequences of one action and of course the thrilling experience of piecing together information to unearth the mystery ............in all  a wholesome read for everyone...... who wish time travel to the eighties/ nineties India.....when life seemed less complicated!! So Abhay....have your own little adventure ....away from your mad momma and come back home all refreshed! Enjoy!