Like a girl!

"Balance for better" is this year's theme for International women's day. A balanced and an inclusive environment especially in terms of gender is truly the way forward. As highlighted by Shelley Zalis on Forbes , 'When you add more women to any equation, there's a return on equality'.  Seeing more and more women at the boardroom, courtroom, legislature, cockpit, stadium, studio or on the front-lines is certainly not only a measure of progress of the society but also encourages many others to take a leap and a recognition and  celebration the same is the sheer essence of International women's day.

Speaking of balance on an individual level.....for every woman of this millennium, achieving the right balance has been a constant challenge. We are on a tightrope......on a perpetual balancing act... switching between our different identities, working around our varied schedules, managing expectations from multiple quarters - professional-societal-maternal-domestic and not to forget our own expectations from ourselves.... Oh! the different hats we wear!  Of course, like everyone and everything else, we have our goods days and bad days. There are times when things seems to be working reasonably well, even to a level of being textbook-perfect., and there are times when things couldn't be worse off....or when one role seems to overshadow the other .....at least for the time being.....and we feel guilty and with it, the need to justify ourselves.  But especially on those days..... we need to cut ourselves some slack....and not feel solely responsible for the things going wrong... ..and key is to go with the flow.....do you what got to do...and give it your best shot! As Julia Child had said "No matter what happens...in the kitchen  (sic)  (but you can take it as life in general) ...never apologize"

Women's day is also about supporting the individual freedom of choice and how as a society we ought respect a girl's choice to live life on her own terms, whether its choice of a career or a life partner or simply how she chooses to dress.... it's her choice and thus will be her responsibility to deal with it!  Anyway, I always try to read something woman-centric on Women's day, and this time I was delighted to find many books revolving around women. We had picked up "Like a Girl - Real stories for Tough kids" by Aparna Jain by Context, Westland Publications, at the Bangalore Lit fest last year when Abhay being one of the few boys to get the author to autograph the book for him as signed as "Change the world #Like a girl...."  

As true as that, the book presents the inspiring stories of fifty six women who pioneered their way through the so called male bastions with sheer grit and determination and  sought to change the world and thus making way for more to follow. From Sultan Razia to Dipa Karmakar, follow the stories of these  women who broke stereotypes and didn't hesitate to take the road less traveled to reach great heights. While there are many famous names that we've all heard , the book also features lesser known but no less adventurous women who rose from ordinary circumstances to make an extraordinary impact - like Rashida Bi and Champa Devi Shukla who took on the multi-national Union Carbide factory through their NGO 'Chingari' or the environmentalist Sunita Narain who lead the campaign in Delhi for vehicles to switch their engines from diesel to compressed natural gas or the writer Bama who took on the caste divide in her village and wrote about it that not only won her recognition but also empowered many other Dalit girls. A great book about great women.......and for anyone comparing "being shy or to cry......like a girl..." this book is a great way to show them to change the world ....like a girl! Happy women's day !!  

Good night stories for Rebel Girls!

Much has been said about Frances McDermont's acceptance speech after winning the Oscar for best actress, being a  powerful tribute to gender equality and woman empowerment.  But apart from her thought provoking mention of  "inclusion rider" (a clause that is sought to be included in all artists' contracts promoting diversity in hiring on film sets), she thanked her husband and her son, whom she claimed to have been well raised by their feminist mothers, who value themselves, each other and those around them!

Compare this to a recent column in The Hindu by Tabish Khair where he advised women, especially from the Indian sub-continent - like mothers, grandmothers, wives, sisters and aunties,  against pampering the sons in the family as the boys then end up  "with bloated egos that can burst at a mere pen prick" and make them unfit in a world of differences and with differences being inevitable in today's world..."such men can only destroy themselves or the world". Wow... scary and yet true...isn't it?? 

This International women's day, as much as it is important for us women to acknowledge and strive for our equal roles in this world, it is as important for us as mothers to ensure that our sons are on the same page as well! Of course, it's a continuous process that ought to be reflected in our outlook, opinions, actions and advice vis-a-vis our boys, so as help them imbibe the same and internalize the sense of gender equality and mindfulness about diversity.

So as a symbolic gesture this women's day,  I had Abhay do a small project  called "Rebel Women" on a few famous women who broke barriers, freed themselves from the shackles of patriarchy and challenged the stereotypes to achieve the almost impossible in a male dominated world.

This is a spin off from "Good Night stories for Rebel Girls" which was a gift for Aadya from her aunt from the US, and we are grateful for this wonderful gift! A wonderful compilation of over 100 women from all walks of life spanning the last two millenniums....from Elizabeth I to Serena Williams.....who have "dissented", "stood up", "dared to question" and "climbed the mountain of life by removing stones and planting flowers"! 

 Put together by Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo and illustrated by over sixty women artists, and though it will be a while before it can be a good night read for my little one, this one for sure is for keeps! Apart from the well known names like Cleopatra, Jane Austen and Mary Kom, the book  also features certain lesser known yet game changers in their own way like the Japanese Empress Jingu and her seventy year reign, or the geneticist Nettie Stevens who was a pioneer in discovering chromosomes, or Xian Zhang, the famous orchestra conductor from China, or the child-bride-turned-rapper from Afganisthan, Sonita Alizadeh!   I couldn't asked for a better book on International women's day! Although a day late, Happy women's day to all the women and women-to-be!!

Wheels to Fly!

Over the previous weekend we had been to “Nammura Habba”, a two day gala event celebrating the essence of Karavali or Coastal Karnataka culture, from its food and cuisine to folk arts and music. Though this is the third edition of the festival, it’s the first time we attended an event like this that had a huge turnout of Karavali population or people from the Coastal region settled in Bangalore along with the attendance of many true-blue Bangaloreans.  Though Bangalore has been home to me throughout my life, it felt great to revisit my roots and join in the celebration of its unique specialties and imports. Be it the language, culture, or cuisine,  as they say.....you can take a person out of Karavali but you can take Karavali out of the person!

Besides a number of cultural and musical events, the festival also saw many famous people from Coastal Karnataka being felicitated and we were delighted to see Padmashri Malathi Holla, India’s pride at the Para-Olympics. It is not very often that we get to read about a famous personality and then see them in person…..isn’t it? No sooner had we finished reading Tulika’s “Wings to fly” than  we happened to see Malathi Holla on stage and got hear her story of how she braved her disability to reach for the skies, in her own words, all thanks to “Nammura habba” !!

"Wings to Fly" by Sowmya Rajendran and pictures by Arun Kaushik  presents her remarkable story in an interesting light that is sure enthuse and inspire young minds.  Little Malathi was like any other girl, loved sweets that she stuffed into the pocket of her red skirt, or couldn’t wait to dig her teeth into the ripe mangoes that had fallen from the tree, or wanted to run behind the chicks in her yard, except that she had to do all of those while being in a wheel chair. Malathi had suffered a polio attack when she was about a year old which took the strength away from her legs. Despite undergoing a number of surgeries and living in a medical center for as many as fifteen years, Malathi continued to be wheelchair bound. But that didn't bind her spirits in any manner, and Malathi found herself loving the movement exercises advised by her doctors. That's when Malathi began participating in many sports events for the disabled and the rest is history! Read on as Malathi went on to scale new heights in the field of sports,  including an interesting anecdote how she even raced in a men's event and won!  With a sensitized narrative accompanied by lively illustrations, this book beautifully and vividly brings out the inspiring life of Malathi Holla, who is a living example of how one can brave all odds by sheer determination, resilience and courage…with wheels and willpower like Malathi’s who needs wings to fly!