Catch the rain!

It has been pouring cats and dogs the whole of this week! We are well into August and the rains don’t seem to let up! The last weekend at Dharmasthala was drenched in rain and the rain seemed to follow us even when we returned to Bangalore! Well, at the risk of sounding repetitive, this weather is reminiscent of the weather in Portland where we had lived for two years ….almost two years ago! I guess the cloudy days, the damp atmosphere and the  “any-time downpour” has Bangalore switching places with any coastal city! I must say that I quite enjoy the cloudy days as the sun doesn’t seem oppressive when hidden behind the clouds, but it is better to be all rained in than being out in rain! Of course….that’s why we are boring grown-ups!

Abhay enjoyed himself in the coastal rain last weekend at Dharmasthala and for some reason insisted on filling up buckets with rainwater. A noble idea indeed as he was probably doing his own little “rain water harvesting” but I’m not sure if you would feel the same if you have to empty bucket after bucket only to have him fill the next one readied to be emptied again! J Anyway, today I read to him a book that talks about just that “Lets catch the rain” by Vinod Lal Heera Kishwar of “Let’s plant trees” fame. I happen to lay my hands on the Kannada version “Male Hididukollona” translated by S. Divakar which I found just right for Abhay’s reading level in the kannada language. Emphasizing the importance of conserving rainwater, the author calls for everyone to catch the rain wherever and in whatever way they can , from buckets and bottles, pots and pans, balloons and overturned umbrellas to wells and coconut shells, and not to forget in tanks and buildings facilitated by rain water harvesting. A simple message of water conservation and environment friendly practices conveyed through striking pencil sketch like illustrations! A nice little one for the monsoon! :-)

Piggybook!

I haven’t waited for any weekend as eagerly as I have for the coming long weekend!  Well, it is an understatement to say “hectic’, but this week has been crazy both at work and on the personal front. Now before I can heave a sigh of relief as the week draws to a close two days early, thanks to Id-ul-Fitr and a second Saturday, it turns out that it may be a working looooong weekend, after all as I have to trudge  through a few legal documents while vacationing in my father’s farm house!:-(  Anyway, another reason I felt over-worked this week is because of my mother-in-laws’ absence at home, making me in charge of the household (read kitchen) responsibilities! This got me thinking about the importance of an all-encompassing domestic support for a working woman today in order to maintain sanity, and this is apart from the housemaid or the help who comes in for a couple of hours for household cleaning and allied chores.  With today’s working woman out of the house for most part of the day, either because of extended working hours or long commute, it’s no secret that we need help for not only child-care, but also cooking and cleaning up thereafter because if I have to fix “Abhay’s favorite panner subzi” for dinner after a long grueling day at court followed by client meetings, it will be like jumping from frying pan to fire! J So we look to support or rather outsource the domestic responsibilities to our parents, in-laws or a full-time hired help. Well, I am grateful to my mother-in-law without whose support my life would have been a mad rush like it has been the whole of this week! Of course, with husbands helping around, it is no longer the “woman’s” sole responsibility, but it is still not the woman who asks “what’s for dinner”, right?:-)

In my hubby’s defense, however, I must say that as I write this post just before leaving to “Shristi”, my father’s farmhouse at Dharmasthala for the long weekend….it is my husband who is winding up the kitchen! J Anyway, I guess as mothers of little boys, it is for us to see to it that gender stereotypes are not perpetuated on the domestic front. Though Abhay has noticed his father help out at the kitchen, its time he starts helping out too. I found a nice little book titled “Piggybook” by Anthony Browne that probably will help me on that count. This one just like other books by Anthony Browne, challenges commonly held beliefs with though-provoking yet comic illustrations. The Piggot family comprising of the mother, father and two boys are a nice little family who live in a nice house, with nice garden and a nice garage. Mrs Piggot does all the household chores from cooking, cleaning, serving, laundry to ironing while having a full-time job on hand. Mr Piggot and the Piggot boys simply order her around and take her for granted. One fine day Mrs. Piggot who has had enough, leaves a note that to her husband and sons that says saying “you are pigs” and walks out. Mr Piggot and the Piggot boys return to an empty house and are annoyed that they have cook and clean themselves. They find it hard to get by without Mrs. Piggot and are seen turning as dirty as pigs for real! Mrs. Piggot then returns, much to relief of the “pigs” but her return is subject to certain conditions - that the boys make their own bed, dad learns to wash the dishes and all of them helped with the cooking and all of them realized that they enjoyed it, after all! So the other day, I asked Abhay to lay the table for dinner, which he no doubt, set out to do willingly but sought to overdo it so much that I regretted asking him!!:-) So if you think you are little ones may be growing into little “pigs” at home……bring home the “Piggybook”!

One and only!

I am an only child and was one of the very few only children in my class at school. People would ask me if I didn’t miss having a sibling and frankly I didn’t! Though one could argue that I had no frame of reference or an idea what life would have been had there been a sibling, I don’t remember ever having pestered my mother for a sibling (Correct me if I am wrong….amma!) Anyway, I was an only child at a time when “single children” were an aberration!  Today there are a lot more parents making that choice! Well, Abhay is an only child…(at least so far!) and I find the whole world offering me unsolicited advice on why he can’t do without a sibling! One, two or more children, that is a decision best left for the parents themselves. Of course, there have been a few occasions when Abhay has wondered why he doesn’t have a brother or a sister like some of his friends, and that is but natural. But that doesn’t mean I am to explain myself to everybody right from nosy acquaintances to my maid as to why Abhay is the only child!  In so far as how they turn out as adults, rest assured that they are as self-involved, sociable, flexible or inflexible as anybody else with siblings. It’s not just research, but also experience ….hey! I turned out fine, now didn’t I? J

Well, jokes apart, while it may be true that single children do not enjoy the company of a sibling when growing up, it is also true that single children grow up a lot more independent and comfortable being all by themselves basking in their solitude, which may not always be the case with children growing up with siblings. So when I found this book recommended by the Hillsboro children’s book newsletter (Yes……I still subscribe to it!), I had this one sent in by a relative returning from the US. “One of a kind’ by Ariel S. Winter and illustrated by David Hitch is a hilarious take on the “single child misgivings” that one might have. Of course, this book does poke fun at twins…just as the “onlies” might find themselves in the spot for being sibling-free! This is a story of Lysander Singleton, who as the surname suggests is the only  “only child” in Twin Oaks Elementary, a school full of twins. No matter how hard Lysander tried, he couldn’t fit in with everyone else who had a twin studying in the same class, sitting at the same desk and Lysander being the only one sitting alone at his desk! But when it was time for the annual Twindividuaton competition, a day-long event meant to encourage individuality, Lysander finally had his chance. First all the twins were separated and were given non-matching uniforms. With no sibling to be individuated from, Lysander expected to be left out but he soon discovers that he is much in demand. At each round, the twins separated from their siblings struggled to perform solo…be it at a choral performance, or at creative writing on “what makes you unique from any other person, including siblings" or the Isolated Ice cream enquiry where the children each choose from forty-five ice cream flavours without the benefit of a sibling consultation (very funny!)   or the one-man relay, whereas Lysander had no trouble at all! In fact Lysander was used to carry a tune on his own, tackled the written essay with finesse and even chose his “Monkey Butter Chocolate chip” in a record setting 15 seconds! When the scores tallied, no prizes for guessing who the winner was! Lysander was the proud winner of the “Simondon-Stiegler” cup, the individual award for individuality and realized that he was after all, proud to be the only “only child” in Twin Oaks Elementary! So here's to Abhay and every other single child…sibling or no sibling….be proud of your own unique self and remember you will always be “one of a kind” for your parents! J

The play that could have been .....Mister Jeeejeebhoy's and the Birds!

Life has turned so busy that Onestoryaday may as well be named Onestoryaweek with my posts now almost down to once a week! While it is still one-story-a-day for Abhay as my six year old is not able to fall asleep without a story, (and whose fault is that :-) I don’t seem to find the time to post the same as often as I want to! There are times when I am eager to post something but fail to find an appropriate book to complement the scenario and sometimes when I do, time fails me! Anyway, this weekend I was determined not to let that happen as I had rented the book well in advance which was seemingly perfect for the occasion, however, the occasion didn’t present itself as planned! To put it simply, we planned to watch a play yesterday (Mister Jeejeebhoy and the birds) based on one of Abhay’s new found favorites  but were a tad too late in booking the tickets and instead settled for another play (Granny's Sarees) by the same group (a Mumbai based group called Gillo) on a story that was one of my old favorites! Anyway, Abhay thoroughly enjoyed the musical format of “"Granny's saris" ” and actively participated in their workshop that followed….. well, what can I say….all’s well that ends well!

But I decided to stick to my original plan of reading what I had planned to anyway! “Mister Jeejeebhoy and the Birds” by Anitha Balachandran is a wonderful story about two siblings cooped up in a very strange house only to discover their own delightfully strange abilities that finally come to the rescue of the neighborhood’s children. Tara and Diya move in with their aunt Ninamasi at 13A, Dimlivili (East) (a name Mumbaikars can relate to better). While they find something strange happening in the house including backward moving clock, faces yawning in the picture frames and mirrors reflecting upside down images, the strangeness grows on the girls as they discover that they are gifted with magical abilities later confirmed by Ninamasi to run in the family. Tara and Diya however find the neighborhood’s children cold and unfriendly towards them. But all the children love one thing – the sweet shop of Mister Jeejeebhoy, who has an unusual hobby of keeping birds as pets. But one fine day when all his birds fly away, the heartbroken mister Jeejeebhoy shuts down the shop and vows never to open the shop until he finds them, Tara and Diya put their special skills to good use and help in bringing back mister Jeejeebhoy’s pets that in turn restores Dimlivili’s sweet tooth! Vibrant real-life illustrations and realistic portrayals of sibling rivalry, peer pressure and the childhood fascination of neighborhood joints all infused with a bit of magic is what best characterizes this book. My only regret is that I missed the story being brought alive by Gillo, which going by today’s performance of “Granny’s sari” must have been a treat to watch! Don’t miss Gillo’s plays the next time around…I most certainly wont!

Winners never quit!

Over the last weekend, we had Abhay participate in a music/singing competition at the instance of his music teacher. Organized by the Swananda Balaganapathi Temple Trust, this was an annual event for children of all ages to display their talents in the field of art, music and dance. Well, we had no idea that such a Trust or such an event even existed until we landed there on a quiet Sunday afternoon for the singing contest. Had we known about the painting/colouring contest held earlier that morning, we would have spent our entire Sunday at the contest venue (According to my husband, ignorance is bliss!) Anyway, we drove to Kuchalambal Marriage hall in Jayanagar (the venue) and found over a hundred kids waiting along with their parents to register for the contest!  So there we were waiting in line at the Class I & II category (as Abhay is in class II), only to be let in to the performance room just when it was Abhay’s turn to sing, as if it were auditions for Indian Idol junior! :-) If I was feeling guilty for being what I call an over-enthusiastic parent, I could take heart as there were a whole lot of them, and what’s more, they were worse off! More than the participants, parents seemed edgy and restless. Despite being given a token number, it was the parents who thronged the entrance thereby blocking the other participants whose turn it actually was! We almost missed ours as we couldn’t hear the organizer call out “No.11”!  Anyway, Abhay was allowed in with one parent and he did sing his bhajan on Lord Ganesha well, though I felt he could have been a little louder. Once he was done, Abhay felt good about singing to a group of unknown people with fairly appreciative smiles! Well, the results came out the next day by mail and Abhay didn't make the final cut. I admit, I was a bit disappointed as I have always believed Abhay to be a good singer. That said, it was indeed a great start for Abhay who had never participated in any event like this before. It may sound like sour grapes, but I guess there are times when it doesn’t matter whether your little one has won or lost, as winning is not everything and the sooner we parents acknowledge the same, it is better for them! 

Abhay was a tad disappointed that he didn’t win any prizes at the competition but soon forgot about it as he got on with his other activities for the day. Hoping he wouldn’t be discouraged by this, I looked up the internet for some books that may inspire him to keep at it. Of course, if there was an American public library in the vicinity, all I had to do was a catalogue search and place a request. For people who do not have ready access to all American publications, it’s Youtube to the rescue! Ideally I would have loved to read ‘Song of middle C” by Alison Mcghee, a story about a little girl’s piano recital not going as expected, but I couldn’t find an online version of the same. But I found a digital link for nice little book titled “Winners never quit” by Mia Hamm.  Mia loved basketball and baseball, but most of all, she loved to play soccer with her brother and sister. She was thrilled when people cheered as she scored a goal but when there was no goal, there was no cheering. On one occasion, when she couldn’t score a goal, she feels dejected and decides to quit soccer altogether earning the title of “quitter” amongst her siblings. When everyone continues to play without her, Mia can’t resist joining in when her brother is skeptical of taking in players who cant learn to lose. But finally when Mia gets chosen to play and kicks the ball right into the goalie’s hands, everyone expects her quit. Mia who hates losing, realizes that she doesn’t hate losing as much as she loves playing. Mia continues to kick the ball hard and whether she did score a goal or she did not, she was playing which was more important than winning or losing!  So Abhay...dont worry about winning or losing as long as you continue what you love and enjoy doing! A wonderful book to teach your little one about courage and sportsmanship!